so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
