Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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