how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
