Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
