Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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