If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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