I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
