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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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