This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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