We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize