She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
