I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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