I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize