I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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