Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop