yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
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His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.