so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
