Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.

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  (317): Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am. http://tfl.nu/ygwv
  Replies (11) Good night (932) Bad night (5393)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
  Replies (17) Good night (4691) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.

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  (714): I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest. http://tfl.nu/jip9
  Replies (28) Good night (1556) Bad night (5980)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (9048) Bad night (2201)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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  (408): I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1a6p
  Replies (7) Good night (894) Bad night (2877)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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  (610): Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic. http://tfl.nu/dj8z
  Replies (27) Good night (1179) Bad night (3298)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.

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  (804): by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious. http://tfl.nu/gquc
  Replies (2) Good night (2623) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away

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  (520): Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away http://tfl.nu/885d
  Replies (1) Good night (1485) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."

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  (541): Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub." http://tfl.nu/xtt2
  Replies (15) Good night (1866) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there

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  (801): Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there http://tfl.nu/7057
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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  (248): I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants http://tfl.nu/k0mn
  Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.

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  (506): I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success. http://tfl.nu/n6ta
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?

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  (913): Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick? http://tfl.nu/db75
  Replies (6) Good night (590) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.

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  (616): if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right. http://tfl.nu/9n53
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight

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  (847): He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight http://tfl.nu/nfpj
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (214)

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