i love accidental penises.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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