I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
