is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
