The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
