We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
