Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
