my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
