Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
