The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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