Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
