Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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