Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
