i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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