If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
