Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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