absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
