I didn't shave. On purpose
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i think i have two assholes
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
