I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
