My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
