dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
