i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
