So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
