I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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