she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
