Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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