I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
