We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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