Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
