I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
