Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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