mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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