She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
