Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
