ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
