fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
