he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
