I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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