they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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