I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
