Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
