the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
