I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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