Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
