in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
