I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize