I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
