Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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