Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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