I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
